It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He felt like a one man threesome
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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