My hand turned me down
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
