Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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