never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
