Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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