i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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