Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
