I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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