well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
