She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
