i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
