Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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