he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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