i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
