Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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