You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
