You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
