Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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