do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
