Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize