Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
