I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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