I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i think i just lost a toe
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
