I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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