this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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