found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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