hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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