ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
