found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
