Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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