u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
And then he peed in my hair
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