Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
