yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
