she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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