i barfeds in our rink
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it because I queefed?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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