so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize