YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
