she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
