Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize