what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
