I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
