She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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