this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
