I cannot find my penis.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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