Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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