Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
In America we eat man semen.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
