i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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