hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
