remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
