I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She's the barista slut.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
