do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She's the barista slut.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
