im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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