I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
