Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
