I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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