Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

and trust me i need no booty pop lessons

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(517): and trust me i need no booty pop lessons http://tfl.nu/h5fy

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm half single.

(773): View more from Illinois

Please tell me it's the bottom half.

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(617): I'm half single. (773): Please tell me it's the bottom half. http://tfl.nu/3fsx

Replies (3) Good night (2202) Bad night (424)
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(248): View more from Michigan

..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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(248): ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe. http://tfl.nu/gys8

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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(859): I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me. http://tfl.nu/euxr

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(480): View more from Arizona

Come see our sink grown plant.

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(480): Come see our sink grown plant. http://tfl.nu/3v5r

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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(414): no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good. http://tfl.nu/zhbu

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(315): View more from New York

I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.

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(315): I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/w329

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(203): View more from Connecticut

That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...

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(203): That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa... http://tfl.nu/lw9n

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(817): View more from Texas

He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

(1-817): View more from Texas

Actually, she's fat now, so...

(817): View more from Texas

Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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(817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993

Replies (27) Good night (1717) Bad night (4880)
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(212): View more from New York

1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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(212): 1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square. http://tfl.nu/c9pr

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(314): View more from Missouri

great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

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(314): great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously http://tfl.nu/gl7l

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(812): View more from Indiana

Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

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(812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg

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(847): View more from Illinois

Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.

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(847): Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high. http://tfl.nu/a6we

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(408): View more from California

Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?

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(408): Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens? http://tfl.nu/6bgt

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Aren't you gay?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME

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(215): I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college (267): Aren't you gay? (215): IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME http://tfl.nu/3fr7

Replies (5) Good night (2744) Bad night (233)

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