Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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