he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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