I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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