Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize